“Stop hating yourself for what you aren’t, and start loving yourself for who you are”
I can admit that after 22 years, I still haven’t fully figured out how to live out my “truest self.” But after considering my 2018 goals, my number one goal this year is to learn how to live authentically. And I want to show you what I’ve discovered along this journey.
So we all know social media is another tool our generation uses to connect. And while there are many positives for using media as a platform, I whole-heartedly believe that social media can negatively affect not only how we want to be seen, but how we see ourselves. Over time I’ve seen how we create illusions of what a perfect life means. False appearances, deception, and mimicry have easily compromised our own truth of success and failure. Know that I’m not trying to speak for everyone, but some may feel pressured to make it known that we are living our “best life.” That we have to measure up to society’s way of thinking, and the way society determines success.
After months of believing that I don’t have the resources at my disposal to be a “successful blogger, ” I let my own doubts drive my fear that I was not meant to be a blogger or a writer. I then took a step back and reflected on what fueled this fear. I had my aha! moment: It’s the negative act of comparison. Comparison is all too easy this day and age. Everyone seems happy, successful, and living the life they want to live. But why can’t we? It’s important that we destroy these illusions we’ve created about other people, and about ourselves. How do we do this?
Know who you are & who you want to be
This sounds really simple, but know your values. Know who you are, and define the person you want to become (I’ve also described this in my article You are Enough.). Back when I wrote “You are Enough”, I was going through a period of self-doubt and low self-esteem. I let others see me the way they wanted to, instead of letting them see me for who I really am. I learned to rule this out by knowing who I truly am and deciding to take control. This also allowed me to set boundaries. One way this really helped me was by writing down (1) my values, (2) who I am right now, and (3) who I want to become. I can ensure that you will not only feel more confident, but you will feel inner happiness, peace and excitement knowing that you’re on the journey to discovering yourself.
*You can find out more about this by clicking the link above.
Stop caring what others think
“If you live for people’s acceptance, you will die from their rejection”
I get that it is so much easier said than done. It takes practice. But it’s important to know that you cannot be consumed with how others react to you, or how they think of you. If you know who you are as a person, and your heart feels like you are doing the right thing, then that’s the only thing that matters. You will attract greater opportunities by living from what your soul wants, rather than what people want.
Caring what others think hinders us from making the most out of our personalities. We hold ourselves back from expression for the sake of embarrassment or rejection. We can end up suppressing who we want to be, because we’re concerned with how others think we should be, or how we should act. So when you stop to do something and hesitate, think to yourself…are you hesitating because you feel morally wrong, or because you don’t want to be judged? We will never be able to explore our truest selves if we are always cautious of other opinions.
- When you don’t seek or look for approval, you are at your most powerful
- You really don’t know who you can inspire by being your true, authentic self.
- If it matters to you, who cares if it matters to anyone else
- Stop hating yourself for what you aren’t, and start loving yourself for who you are (I say this twice because it’s so important)
Stop being afraid
Don’t be afraid to explore opportunities that make your heart happy. Don’t be afraid of changing for the better. Small reminder: you’re allowed to change over night. Don’t be afraid of getting rid of dead weight–also known as the people and things that are negative and only hinder your growth. Don’t be afraid to stop asking and start acting. Don’t be afraid of the people you may hurt on the way to discovering yourself (the real ones will stay). Don’t be afraid of growing. Don’t be afraid of the unknown, because if you’re following your heart you will end up where you’re meant to be. Don’t be afraid to let your light shine. Don’t be afraid to live for yourself, and to stop living for the sake of others.
I challenge you this week to start acting, to stop waiting to be ready, to stop holding back, to stop looking for approval, and to stop comparing yourself to others.
Be you. For you.